Neocat jokesYou might well form the opinion from the many true stories told on this website that Neocats are definitely not funny.
Through this page, inspired by Community member Anne H., Church Mouse hopes to set the record straight.
If you would like to contribute, please send your jokes to the Church Mouse at email@example.com.
Q & A
Q. How many Neocats does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It’s not for us to say – ask the Parish Priest.
Q. How many Neocat Priests does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None – they hate change and prefer to stay in the dark.
Q. What is the difference between intelligence and ignorance?
A. I don’t know and I don’t care!
Neocatatonic: how one feels after sitting through another Neocat "sermon".
Neocatnap: means of avoiding neocatatonia.
Neocategory: classification used by Neocats to divide a community into us and them.
Neocatabolism: process of breaking down a community through delivery of a sermon.
Neocatafalque: platform from which deadly boring sermons are delivered: thought by Neocats to imbue them with life-like characteristics.
Neocatlike: tunnel vision, lacking in subtlety.
Neocatspaw: digit raised by Neocats as form of abuse of congregation.
Neocatholicism: I am the p p p p parish priest.
The one true faith
A man dies, goes to heaven, and meets St. Peter, who gives him a tour pointing out the different areas occupied by souls of various faiths.
"Over there ", says St. Peter, "are the Episcopalians, and over there the Lutherans. Over there are the Jews, and there are the Muslims. Over there are the Hindus."
Finally, before they get to the next group, St. Peter says "Now be very quiet as we pass this lot. Those are the Neocats, they think they’re the only ones here."
The four-legged members of the flock
Moving Realm SALE
• Made in Madrid 1965
• As new condition
• Suitable for transplant
• Never used
Contact: Neocataclysmic House, Redfern, Sydney Australia
In response to a guest’s curious request for some Aboriginal Jokes by way of introducing "some balance", here are a couple – possibly not quite what our guest had in mind …
"You might as well, you white bastard. You took everything else."
The Aborigine does some strange things to his stems, and the other two frown at him, perplexed and slightly embarrassed for him. After a while the two gubbas laugh at him and jeer. "He hasn’t even taken the bark off… it’s full of cracks… and how is that going to play with one end still blocked!" and so forth.
The three continue with their crafting. After an hour or so, the two gubbas make a fire and paint themselves with clay. They sit opposite each other at the fire, and with much solemnity, begin to play.
While they are playing, the Aboriginal fella takes the eel traps he has made and sets them in the creek.